Nothing
by Atheniandream
Summary: A reunion, a year since they'd become victors...
1. Default Chapter

Title: Nothing  
Author: atheniandream/Jawbreakerchick/Paisleychick, my alter egos :)  
Email: atheniandream@aol.com  
Content Warnings: Reunion, romance, firendship, thoughts, Angst, you know,   
that old chestnut  
Pairings: Sam/Jack, Daniel/Janet  
Spoilers: None, really.... :)  
Season: Seven, or after film.  
Rating: Not really sure, no sexual content really.  
Summary: It's been a year since they became the victors...  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: In all seriousness, I don't have faith in Sam and Jack *actually*   
getting together, sorry. Registers as "MAXI" on my Angst-o-meter, again, sorry, but   
please read.  
Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of   
Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA,  
Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is   
for entertainment purposes only and no money  
exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original   
characters, situations, and story are the property  
of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the   
consent of the author.  
  
Nothing  
======  
{And} indicate non-factual flashbacks (Like I needed to say!!) As in, I made them up!!  
============================  
  
Wednesday 18th August 2005, 10:07am  
  
She twisted the ring around her finger with her thumb, lightly rubbing the nail over the   
smoothness of the gold band that had welcomingly, almost sensually curled it's self around   
her finger.  
Her eyes flickered closed for a second, and then opened to her surroundings.  
*Their* bedroom. Light, contemporary and homely.  
Where things ended and one other began.  
  
And she took it all in.  
  
{"So, this is it?" Her eyes flickered once more. "I guess so. Sir."}  
  
Everything, Their fight, for the cause and good of humanity and the worlds.  
The fought the fight. Coming up against the hard-edged ugliness of evil, and punched it in   
the face.  
A knock out.   
  
And they had. Knocked every Goa'ould from earth to the next galaxy.  
And further.  
  
How they'd managed it, was irrelevant, and by word of mouth, no one was really sure just   
*how* they did it.  
Just, that their victory would span them as the five heroes,  
One for Bravery.  
One for Immense Courage.  
One for Believing.  
One for Leading.  
And One, for love.   
But for Love of What? And Whom?  
  
Maybe that didn't matter anymore.  
  
The outcome would still be the same.  
*Their* anniversary.  
  
A year, since they'd won.  
The victory of all victories.  
And yet, here she was  
Nervous, sweaty palms which she rubbed down the end of the bed. A swimming headache. But   
again, she was getting ahead of herself. Right now, the one thing se needed was some kind of   
release, temporary solution to an everlasting discomfort.  
An arm instantly took retreat around her waist, slowly curving her spine and the rest of her   
with it.  
She smiled against the base of his neck.   
"Are you sure you don't want me to come with?"  
"No, I'll be fine." She answered him soundly with a kiss.  
About as soundly as her mind would let her. "I'm just nervous is all."  
"Sam, they used to be your friends?" His statement lingered as a question for a moment, but   
left behind any doubt, jealousy or possession. Just a tender reminder of why she was with him.  
Why their love was reciprocated.  
"I know David, I just-"  
"You're scared?"  
She leaned back to face him, a knowing smile on her face. "You guessed, huh?"  
"Look, I know you haven't seen them in a year-"  
"I haven't been to Colorado in year!" her tone quietened, as if oddly shy. "Things have changed,   
and I'm nervous."  
"They're your friends." His stressed calmly, not wanting her to retreat, but trying his hardest   
to encourage her, as kissed her, letting her return it instantly.  
"I know."  
  
And she did know, but then again *he* didn't. Not due to any fault of his own, just purely   
because he hadn't understood their relationships when he met her.  
Their victories had instantly made a name for the group of Sg-1. Heroes in their own rights.  
  
But their victory would prove seeming sweet.  
  
{"So what happens now?" His eyes dawned on her. Excruciating every move she made. "We live our   
lives."}  
  
Jonas had gone to travel the worlds. He'd said that he didn't want to go back home. He already   
had one, but he'd never seen it all. It was time to.  
Teal'c on the other hand, had two homes. But with his son and 'old roots' and familiarities on   
Chulak, he decided that his son needed him. More now than anything.  
Daniel had decided to go back to the archaeological world, in light of the notification that he   
wasn't *as* crazy as they all thought. He decided that the world would now like to hear what he   
had to say. They didn't have a choice.  
And Jack. Jack went up to his cabin, like always wanted to. Somewhere to gather his thoughts and   
be unsociable for the rest of his life.  
Apparently, "There's nothing left for an old soldier like Me." rang a little truer than the rest   
had imagined. They didn't believe him, but hey, it was his choice, right?  
But it still cut, and that's all we'll say....  
  
  
And Sam had decided that she should alter some of her choices. She was getting to the time in   
her life when she wanted a family. Lots of critters running around. A nice home, although not   
too fancy. And a job as a Professor of Theoretical Astrophysics, part-time for now.  
And she decided, that for once, she'd have love and poetry in her life.  
Just like the movies.  
And the ever-clear beauty that you read of in Shakespeare.   
  
But it had never dawned on her just how much she'd given up for this life.  
Her Passions. All of them, physical or untouchable, she shed them of herself, and scattered   
them like leaves in autumn rain.  
Them.  
Her friends.  
Her love for them, however much of it *may* still exist, attributes where left behind when   
she went to D.C.  
It's amazing to realise just how out of touch best friends can seem.  
  
She had 5 hours until she would find out.  
Whether she was missed, and what parts of the friendship lay intact.  
It was going to be a long flight.  
And she hoped to god that it would be worth it.  
  
{"So what are we, Carter?" That name still cut, but she ignored it. it didn't make her mind much   
clearer. "I don't think I know anymore."}  
  
===========================================  
  
Chewing at her nails, the other hand tapping her leg to run out the dulling numbness, which had   
set towards the end of the flight, she waited for an absolution.  
Looking around her, the chaos massed.  
People shouting, rummaging, banging and clattering. People Smiling, and frowning, arguing, god   
she'd wished it all over in a second.  
This was it; she grabbed her bag and stood up. Numbness set in once more.  
Like pulling off a band-aid...sure....  
Just, breathe, Sam.  
  
===========================================  
  
Three men and a woman sat.  
Waiting.  
It had been so long in too fewer time that it silence them all.  
Teal'c had made is way home in time to get Daniel's message of their 'reunion dinner', and Jonas   
had already come back from back-backing most of Europe, seeing what he could before it was   
"All gone" as if was going anywhere....  
So the gang had assembled, to talk of old times and present news.  
Janet and Daniel's dating were to be one of them. Her arm curled into his as she sat beside him   
in the air-lounge.  
"You okay?" His shyness, caused her to smile broadly, and her index finger crept up to toy with   
his glasses playfully.  
"Yea. It's just been a while. You think she's changed?"  
"Sam? No," his reply was solid. It had no reason to linger unsure or to be doubt. "If she has,   
then it'd be for good reason."  
Jonas and Teal'c intervened in the intimately placed conversation.  
After all, it was their Sam. All of theirs.  
"It's odd you know, her not being here."  
"I conquer with Jonas. I believe that a whole has long remained following Samantha Carter's   
departure."  
"She'll be here, soon."  
Daniel Jackson, the ever mediator of the group. "Speaking of which, where's Jack?" He asked   
looking to Janet.  
Her eyes left his at that. "Oh, about that-"  
"Look!"  
  
They turned towards that crowd; a long swimming line of faces departing the terminal.  
Out of the chaos.  
An almost exact replica emerged, as if a day failed to pass them, and time had never jogged   
along at its unwelcome pace.  
And she emerged.  
Long dark grey woollen skirt, white shirt and leather jacket and bag in hand.  
Eyes shiny sliver mixed into dapple-grey against the sky outside. And *that* smile.  
Welcoming them all.  
As they all stood, she drew nearer and nearer, to a sudden stop.  
"Hey guys, miss me?"  
A bundle of hugs ensued. And tears replaced them.  
  
============================================  
  
{"I don't want to throw it away." Honesty between them. "Me neither."}  
  
"Well all missed you so much!" Janet managed through bouts of happy tears.  
"Good, I missed you, all." She couldn't help but notice a gap.  
That left a hole a mile wide.  
And she had to admit, not just in the group, somewhere much more sacred and untouchable by many   
reaches.  
"Daniel," she'd already started to cry. A watery smile joined her arms around him, as he   
returned the gesture.  
"Teal'c, How ya doin'?" She reached and kissed Teal'c on the cheek. Jaffa hearts are always the   
most remembered.  
"Jonas," In the time she'd met him, their relationship had grown to almost the same as the rest.  
She knew that she would always have more than one brother.   
Four, to be exact. "How ya doing Sam?"  
"Good, Jonas. Great." She smiled back. She could have sworn that he'd been smiling constantly   
from the last time she saw him, to this moment.   
  
Standing back, she studied them.   
Still no reason, no excuse, no sorries and no bad news.  
It was worse than knowing, the unexpected. Worse case scenarios drenched her head until she   
swam in it.  
"He's not coming is he?" Her quiet bluntness was more than justified. He hadn't rung Daniel   
to cancel and yet he hadn't confirmed, he'd just let the invitation linger on the fence.  
  
Their faces tuned in unison to the floor accept Teal'cs. "My apologies Samantha, O'Neill has   
not contracted any of us since our last meeting and the notification of this invitation."  
"It's okay Teal'c, you apologise on his behalf. He could have said something."  
"We're sorry, Sam." Daniel's pained face caught her a little harder than she should have let   
it. She was married. And not to job anymore. To someone she loved very much. That much, bored   
itself clear into her mind.  
Janet detached herself from Daniel, and linked her arm in Sam's.  
"Let's go."  
"Yea. Let's catch up."  
They all turned to make their way out. But an intruder stood in the way.  
Eyes solid on her. Like they'd always been.  
  
{"Give me time?" She really meant it. "Sure." So did he.}  
  
Her eyes flickered. They hadn't done that in almost a year. A year today.  
Patches of dark grey still clung to his roots, as if they refused to let go. His hands dug   
into his pockets in a fashion that could be described as 'O'Neill' and his face, was the same   
as she remembered.  
A little more worn, but still 'Jack'.  
Her hair was longer, made those blues look even more startling to him. But her hadn't seen   
them in a year. He knew that   
His knees wouldn't take it.  
"Carter." He nodded shyly.  
A shortly-teared breath ensued her mind and her heart took the reigns, drawing closer to his   
uncomfortably pensive expression.   
"Sir."  
Neither moved.  
Too scared, too unsure of each other as individuals.  
They'd been apart too long.  
And their stubbornness and conflicts had kept them unknowing, and always wanting too.  
So like they'd done a year ago.  
Like they never wanted.  
They did the inevitable, the usual, the thing they'd tried so desperately to do for years.  
  
Nothing.  
  
Maybe, just maybe, thins should alter themselves, just once.  
For old time's sake. Or so I'm told...  
  
He looked up to her momentarily expressionless face.  
And he said it.   
"Enough time for ya?"   
That broke her heart.   
She mentally crumbled, and displayed the biggest amount of affection that she could give him.  
They fell into an eased embrace; his arms took her in, to stop her wide-eyes teary expression.   
Or so he told himself.  
Her tears down her nose and puddled his sweater, she didn't care. "I missed you," she whispered   
into his shirt.  
"Good. I love *you*." And he wasn't ashamed, or embarrassed. Just statement, he told himself.  
Pretty much a bad idea denying it now,   
Not that he wanted to.  
Her breath didn't move from his neck, only quickened in response.  
"I'm married Jack."  
"I know, Sam." He didn't mean for his arms to tighten around her.  
He just had to. Once, like an impulse, hardly pounding and resembling his fear. She couldn't   
move,  
And yet didn't want to either.  
  
And there, the rest stood around them.  
And there they stood in the middle.  
  
Like the past, now the future, and definitely the present.  
  
They were the same doubled over.  
No moving.  
No kiss.  
No smile.  
No anger.  
No remorse.  
  
Just standing, her crying into his arms. And him looking at her.  
They did, what they'd been doing forever.  
The only single thing, which kept them above water.  
  
Nothing.  
  
Because they had no choice.  
And they knew it.  
Otherwise,   
She would have smiled.  
And he would have kissed her.  
  
Nothing can have not a single consequence and yet have every meaning. If you let it....  
  
===========================================================   
  
Be nice, I'm not sure if I want a sequel now that i've written it,   
any/every feedback welcome to Atheniandream@aol.com, thanks,  
  
Athena-"I like to make myself cry, okay??" 


	2. NothingPart Two

Nothing-Part two  
  
{ and }-Flashbacks for events between this fic and the last, like to keep you on your toes...  
==========================================================  
It wasn't supposed to happen.  
Like this, I didn't plan it.  
  
{"We shouldn't be doing this," He whispered huskily along the curve of her nape, kissing the   
flesh that lingered. Her body arched elegantly in a purely feminine response. "It's bad." She   
purred, her eyes fluttered closed in the dimly sheltered moonlight, her hands connecting,   
grasping at the legs sat around her. "Very bad."}  
  
I still blame it on the situation.  
Life and death.  
Not of our bodies,   
But of our souls...  
The languish attempt to avoid the unavoidable.  
To make her take the biggest risk of all,   
Betrayal,   
Of someone she loved, respected and cares about, now a lot.  
I know the feeling well...  
  
{"Oh, oh yea." Her hands, sliding up and down his back, whilst hands sought refuge an fixating   
pleasure in her breas-"}  
  
Can there be a choice?  
  
Too many times avoided, and never confronted, not even conquered.  
The only thing that became conquered was ourselves, our weakness.  
  
Each other.  
The ever-growing Need.  
More now to do with sexual awareness, the tasting of flesh, muscles rippling...  
  
We can't even deal with that, and it didn't serve our anxiousness towards each other now.  
  
{Clenched, curved, panting, wanting, and forgetting the obvious, revelling in the current...}  
  
Him.   
He divides us....  
The man I've never met, and chose never to...   
  
{Hands melting, gliding, holding, needing, scratching, pushing to an abrupt-}  
  
...Stop....  
  
Her eyes flutter, opening to the morning light, her face fresh and still clinging to sleep.   
Her cool skin baby soft against my chest, she doesn't move.  
  
No smile.  
No kiss.  
No declaration.  
Only,  
"I can't leave him. It would break his heart, Jack."  
My eyes turn from hers.  
"Then why are you here, Carter."  
My only defence. Another piece of floating wood to keep my head above the water line...  
"I want to hurt anyone."  
"I can deal with it, I'm a big boy Carter."  
"Don't call me that."  
  
Carter.  
  
The woman I fell in love with.  
But not woman *I* made love to.  
The woman who wants both what she won't give up on, and what she used to say she wanted.  
Or So Janet told me once...  
*She* wont give up on Carter either.  
The woman who loved her job, the one who played by the rules, the woman who help change   
the universe just by standing by my side.  
  
On either counts.  
We're doomed,   
She serves to hurt people.  
And I serve to Love her forever, it seems...  
  
So we've been screwed, in more ways than one.  
  
I miss Carter...  
I don't know Sam.  
  
She sits up, kissing me once, the taste of her still on my lips,   
Where ever she's going,   
She might come back...  
A fool can hope for wondering.  
  
========================================  
Feed back welcome to fuel my mind for a sequel, so you wanna know where this is going?  
FEED ME,   
  
Thankz, Athena Atheniandream@aol.com  
  
"Scientists and military guys don't make out."  
"Maybe that's what's wrong with the world."-I'm still pondering whether Joss Whedon is a fan of Sg-1 or not.... Hmmm.... 


End file.
